As we enter February, I'm curious about how people have been navigating their New Year's Resolutions. Are they still going strong? Have they completely given up? Have you been pretty hit or miss on your consistency? You've no doubt read the statistic that says most people give up on their resolutions by January 12. If you've been struggling to keep up with your goals I think I can help.
There are countless ways to stay accountable to yourself, but this year I've been experimenting with one weird way that seems to be working pretty well for me. I'll be the first to admit that it's weird and out there, but I really don't care so long as it works. If the results are there, I'm in.
Here it is.
Once I establish my goals and chunk them down to week by week action items (more on that in another post), I imagine that there are two of me. There is obviously the Regular Me that's writing this post, and then there's Beyonce Me. Beyonce Me is everything I want to be. She lives in my future and knows that the steps I'm taking in this moment will bring Regular Me closer to being her. Beyonce Me is fully committed to my well-being, goals, and growth because she is my best friend who loves me. She is always down for that Saturday morning workout, extra early wake up, writing goal, or cooking 15lbs of chicken breasts for weekly meal prep. She loves doing all of that stuff, but, more importantly, Beyonce Me loves doing those things with Regular ME.
Beyonce Me asked me to do all of these growth-oriented things with her specifically, and I accepted her invitation.
Here's where Beyonce Me is super helpful. Whenever Regular Me wants to skip a workout, put off writing, put off cold calling a potential client, or to mindlessly scroll down social media instead of reading a book, I have to write out a flakey, honest cancellation text to Beyonce Me. Because Beyonce Me is 100% committed to my goals, knows I can do them, and LOVES me, she's usually very disappointed to hear that I've chosen to not keep my commitment to her because she was really excited to work toward this goal together. Sometimes she's understanding of my need to deload from time to time, but for the most part she lovingly reminds me of who I want to be.
In my cancellation text I must:
- Say what activity I'm bailing on
- Say what larger goal this action step is related to
- Honestly say why I don't want to go (notice this isn't "can't go.") Imagine just telling your best friend, "I don't want to go do that thing with YOU."
Beyonce Me will:
- Remind me of the commitment I made
- Remind me that she is who I want to be and to get there, I should stick to my goals
- Remind me why I chose the goals I chose (using feeling words)
If Regular Me wanted to bail on a workout, it might look like:
"Hey, Beyonce LC, I'm so sorry about this. I know I committed to this 9:00am Saturday workout with you because it's my goal to lose 5% body fat by April, but I stayed up late on Friday to binge watch 30 Rock for the 29th time. I'm really tired and I don't want to go with you."
Beyonce Me might say:
"Hey, LC, 30 Rock is an awesome show and probably the best written sitcom to ever be on TV, but, dude, you promised me that we would go to this workout together. You said that it was important to you to hit your body fat percentage goals because when you're strong and lean you feel more confident, focused, sexy, and excited about life. So I invited you to come with me so we could make it happen together. I'll see you at the gym at 9."
Beyonce Me is that awesome person who you don't fuck around with. If she says she'll see you at 9am, you'll be there at 8:50.
The other side of this is that when I have to cancel on Beyonce Me, usually I see through my own excuses once they're written out. This makes it clear that my decision to either stay committed to my goals or to faff about is really a choice. Also, I've not run into a situation where I ever was upset with myself for choosing to stay committed to my goals. In fact, after doing the thing I wanted to bail on, I always feel better. Whereas, when I bail on a commitment, I usually start to feel anxious and pressured because I'm not making progress on the goals I want to hit.
A big part of this method is knowing yourself and knowing when you need a real break, Beyonce Me gets that. She's reasonable and wonderful. There are legitimate times to pull the throttle back for your own self-care. If you take the time to think through what you've committed to and why you've committed to it, you'll be able to see through the excuses and understand when it's time to step back.
How do you stay committed to your goals? Has it been working for you? How might you make a Beyonce version of yourself to keep working towards the things that are important to you? Tell me in the comments.